Shortly after getting information about adoption, I started to look at choosing a family. I was given a handful of short profiles on families sharing their stories, and why they were choosing adoption. Reading through them was not easy and it was a very emotional process. While reading the first couple of books I wasn’t really finding a family that I felt connected to. Picking a family for my son meant choosing parents who shared similar views, and who also would raise my son the same way I would.
After reading a few of the books, I was starting to give up hope. Then I reached the last family’s book, there was a part of me that didn’t want to read it and thought I should just give up on adoption all together. I gave it a shot, I read one page, then another, and another, I finally felt it… That these people could be the perfect pair to parent my son.
They already had one son, so it did make me a little worried. I never thought I wanted to choose a family that had a child already. Would they be able to love my son the same way? Or would the boys get along well? Something in me rooted for this family, and I thought about my childhood and growing up with an older sister. We had so much fun together and she taught me so much, and she is still my best friend. So I thought about how my son could have the same, having someone to look up to would be good for him, and he could have someone to play with.
I chose to move further, contacting my birth mother advisor, letting her know I would like to have contact with the family. Now it wasn’t just my choice, and it didn’t occur to me until then that the family also had to decide if they wanted to talk with me as well. So they were sent my information and needed to think about if I would be a good fit for them. It was scary to think I could be rejected by the only family I felt connected to.
Soon enough my birth mother advisor let me know they wanted to talk with me as well. First, I was in contact with the adopting mother over email. We had set up a phone call for a few days later and I was so nervous about talking with her for the first time. What if she didn’t like me, or if I didn’t like her? What if we didn’t have anything to talk about? The last thing I wanted was to get anybody’s hopes up and to change my mind.
The day of the phone call came around and it was a little awkward at first because we both were so nervous. We ended up hitting it off right after we broke through that wall of nerves. We talked for probably an hour and fell in love with each other, everything felt right, to both of us. I remember thinking she was so kind, genuine, and very honest/upfront with me. We set up another phone call so I could speak with the adopting father. He seemed genuine as well, and he was very sweet, and he was very open about his feelings towards the whole adoption process. Everything felt right to me and they are the perfect parents to raise my son.